


An Improbable Future

by Natashasolten



Category: Wiseguy
Genre: First Time, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-22
Updated: 2011-10-22
Packaged: 2017-10-24 21:04:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natashasolten/pseuds/Natashasolten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny and Vinnie spend more and more time together only to realize they are each other's perfect "date."</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Improbable Future

It happened on three different occasions. Little slips. But they were telling slips. What Frank might call “Freudian” slips if Vinnie ever told Frank everything that was going on about the Steelgrave operation at their meetings. If Vinnie were ever completely honest with him.

But Vinnie didn’t talk about things like “Freudian slips” to Frank. He didn’t talk to his field supervisor much at all about Sonny, and certainly not about his private feelings regarding Sonny. No. He talked about “word on the streets” or “deals.” He concentrated on setting up everyone but Sonny. And Frank always seemed pretty satisfied with that.

Too often lately, Vinnie sat in Sonny’s office staring out the big windows at the gray downtown skyscrapers, bored out of his skull, hungry for something he couldn’t define. He made a habit of reading two papers. He’d memorized every detail of Sonny’s office. There was nothing else to do.

Sonny’s business had been quiet for quite some time. There were the usual pay-offs and deals, but the grunts handled most of those and Vinnie was no longer a grunt. Sonny preferred to keep him close at hand. So Vinnie spent many days dressed to the nines and sitting around Sonny’s office or on long lunches in expensive restaurants getting to know Sonny better and finding out things about him the OCB would consider not even remotely noteworthy, like the fact that Sonny hated onions, that he played with his rings when he was self-conscious, that his best friend was fatally hit by a car when he was ten, that he hated sleeping in pajamas. Things like that. Often they drank. A lot. And Vinnie felt so at ease with him. So when Sonny had insinuated that latter statement into the conversation, Vinnie had said without thinking, “Thanks for the intel so I won’t get a shock if we ever end up sleeping together.”

Sonny, in the middle of drinking his beer, burst out laughing, grabbing his napkin up quickly.

Vinnie felt blood rush to his face. “Jesus! That came out all wrong. I meant, like if we got stuck somewhere away from home…” He gave up. Then started laughing at himself. He felt Sonny toe him gently under the table, then heard him say, “You’re too much.”

Vinnie shook his head, still feeling terribly dumb. They had gotten very close. That was the truth. They did almost everything BUT sleep together. So it was easy to joke with Sonny about stuff like that. But Vinnie didn’t enjoy those jokes very much because to him the depth of his feelings for Sonny was no laughing matter. He really had come to care for Sonny, and knowing his own duplicitous position, often he felt far too torn up about it for his own good.

It didn’t help that Sonny was so good-natured around him, or that Sonny might stare at him with such open affection, like he did after Vinnie made his first faux pas. Sonny’s gaze was intense and open. Those brown eyes on him, looking him up and down, made his skin prickle in the nicest ways.

“Finish your beer,” Sonny said, after looking at him long and hard for what seemed an eternity.

“I think I’m done for,” Vinnie replied.

That had been the first slip.

The second came after one of those long, boring days doing nothing but a little paperwork in Sonny’s office. Sonny had left to change clothes for a dinner out with distant, visiting relatives.

Vinnie had gone to his suite to spend a dull evening watching TV in his t-shirt and underwear.

The phone rang. On the other end, Sonny said without preamble, “Jesus it’s dull around here.”

Vinnie frowned. “Aren’t you at dinner?”

“No. They cancelled. Something about a hotel mix up, missing the bus. I don’t even really know these people anyway.”

“Oh.”

“So, whatcha up to?”

Vinnie looked down at his bare legs, at the t-shirt riding up his flat belly. He lay slumped back on the couch, one leg up, one down. He ran his hands through his unsprayed, less than neat hair. “I’m in for the night.”

“Want company?”

“Sure.”

Before Sonny waltzed in, he’d managed to don a pair of pants. They sat on Vinnie’s cool, leather couch and watched TV. Then Sonny, who was still dressed rather nicely, stretched his arms over his head. “I’m soooo bored!”

Vinnie gave a half chuckle.

“I never ate. Are you hungry?”

Vinnie had snacked hours ago. “I can always eat.”

Then Sonny sat up straight, snapping his fingers as if he’d had the most serious thought. “I say, let’s go out somewhere really decadent. We’ll eat food high in fat and cholesterol, then we’ll have wild, crazy sex.”

Vinnie did a double take, frowned, gulped. Sonny frowned back. “What I mean is…well, that came out wrong, didn’t it.”

Vinnie laughed then, but quietly. Through chuckles, he said, “Whatever you say, Sonny.”

Sonny grinned at him sidelong, then suddenly started fiddling with his rings. They never actually followed through with the plan though, and had ended up ordering room service and watching HBO.

It was getting so Vinnie liked being alone with Sonny more and more.

The third time it happened, they were again at a restaurant. They’d been girl-watching. Toying with their drinks…wine this time. “Well, if you don’t like her, what do you like?” Sonny had been ogling a pretty little blonde in heels so high she couldn’t walk. Vinnie thought she was pathetic. She wore the worst shade of yellow imaginable in a dress that didn’t even fit her. And her hair was in some kind of high school ponytail when it was clear she was far older.

“I thought you had better taste,” he said. “She can’t even dress, or walk. She’s trying too hard. You can do better.”

That was when Sonny asked, “What do you like?”

“Well,” Vinnie replied, “someone who can dress better for sure.”

“Yeah, nice clothes,” Sonny said. “A plus.”

“They don’t have to be expensive, but they have to fit.”

“What else?”

“Well, she couldn’t hold her own in a fight, that’s for sure, not with those shoes. How she survived even getting here…”

“Why would she be in a fight?” Sonny asked.

“I’m just saying. She couldn’t take care of herself. She’d be a burden. And she talks too much. Look at that. She hasn’t stopped yapping since she got here. And if you were paying attention you’d hear every other word she says is ‘like.’”

They both were quiet for a moment, leaning a little back to eavesdrop. Sonny had a funny smile on his face as the girl’s voice carried over to them. “And, so, like he goes, ‘get away’ and I go ‘no’ and he goes ‘leave’. Can you, like, believe it? He just dumped me. Like that.”

Sonny suppressed a grin. “You don’t like the way she talks, Vinnie?”

Vinnie didn’t answer, just laughed.

“Yeah, well maybe she couldn’t quote Nietzsche to you, but who says she has to if all you’re looking for is a little action.”

“Yeah, if that’s all you’re looking for…. And what do you know about Nietzsche?”

Sonny shrugged, than stared at him again with that open intensity Vinnie always liked. “What are you looking for then?”

Vinnie shrugged. “Well, somebody I could talk to at least.”

“And who dresses nice, and can hold their own in a fight,” Sonny added.

Vinnie nodded vigorously. “Sure. Yeah.” He was getting into it. He ticked off qualities on his fingers. “Rich.”

“You’re not a gold-digger.”

“No but I hate them, so if she had her own money, she wouldn’t be one, right?”

Sonny nodded sagely.

“Neat, tidy. Nice smelling. Oh, and she’d have to like “Die Hard.”

“Well, that goes without saying.” Sonny chuckled.

It was their favorite movie.

“And hold her liquor and not just eat salads. It’d go over better with my mom if she was Italian, too. Or at least part. And generous. Kind. But maybe with a few secrets to keep me guessing, a hint of the edge, the dark. Someone who’s fun to hang with when I’m bored. No pressure. And a little educational background wouldn’t hurt.”

Sonny was staring at him. “You mean someone like me.”

Vinnie realized just then that he had described Sonny. But he went with it, feeling easy, comfortable. “Yeah, but they’d have to know the meaning of the word ‘draconian.’ So you’re out.”

Sonny got the most affronted look. Then his eyes were dancing in the gold, restaurant light. The candle between them flickered. “Ya think?”

Vinnie grinned at him.

Sonny grimaced while still smiling, a feat that was quite astonishing. “You think you’re so smart. I know what it means, Vinnie. I always did. But I have a reputation to maintain.”

“Yeah?” Vinnie pursed his lips together hard, wanting to look away, but unable to. That intense gaze. Those velvet eyes.

“Severe. Cruel. Now, should I be insulted?” He gave Vinnie his most innocent stare.

Vinnie’s brow rose. Sonny had probably looked the word up in his computer dictionary when Vinnie wasn’t looking. Then he lifted his hand, rubbing at his left eye, and said softly, “If you are, I apologize.”

“Good. Now we got that cleared up. It’s just a fact. I’m the perfect date for you.”

This time, Vinnie didn’t laugh. He looked down at his almost empty plate, feeling suddenly panicky and high at the same time. He was afraid to look back at him, but he still managed to say softly, “Yeah. You are.”

Out the corner of his eye he saw Sonny signal the waiter. Sonny paid and they left and nothing more was said.

Later, they sat on Vinnie’s couch again. The TV was on. Baseball.

Sonny turned to Vinnie. “Wanna hear what I want?”

“Huh?” Vinnie turned to slowly look at him. He’d been avoiding Sonny’s gaze all night.

“You know. What we were talking about earlier. The perfect date.”

“Sure.” But really, Vinnie was unsure. He did not want to resume that earlier conversation. He didn’t want to joke about it. He didn’t want to talk about it.

“I know I said I liked that blonde,” Sonny said slowly. “But really I prefer brunettes. It’s just all that dark hair…shiny, nice, soft.” He took a breath. “I like ‘em smart, too, ya know. It’d be great if they didn’t give a shit about the money, the power. Maybe they’d even go a round or two with me in the ring.”

Vinnie scowled. “A girl?”

Sonny ignored the question. Then he caught his glance willing him not to look away. Softly he said, “And they’d have to have blue eyes. The sweetest blue eyes.” He paused, blinked, shrugged. “That’s it.” He looked away first this time. That never happened.

Vinnie felt the panic begin to rise again. The jittery feeling. Sonny had been serious when he said that last part. Too fucking serious.

For a few stretched out, long seconds they sat silent, both looking at the floor. Finally Sonny bumped Vinnie’s knee with his own. “It’s okay,” Sonny said softly. “You’re just the greatest, that’s all.” And out came his nervous laugh.

Vinnie’s heart hammered. He loved being with Sonny. Thought about it a lot. But this…this just couldn’t happen. Never. He bumped Sonny’s knee with his own in return, gently. “That means a lot to me, but this…but this is….”

Sonny turned suddenly, put up a hand. “Hush. Don’t say any more.”

Vinnie knew he was failing miserably at hiding the pained look on his face, and maybe even the heat he felt in his eyes now.

Sonny gave him a wry smile. Very lightly, he touched Vinnie’s wrist with the tips of his fingers, saying, “This is too dangerous.” He sighed, sat forward. “Foolish, too. No more jokes, okay?” He stood suddenly. He looked very sober even though they’d both had several drinks. He let out another hoarse laugh.

Vinnie bit hard on his lower lip, staring up at him. Sonny raised his hand again as if to touch his face, then shook his head. His hand dropped. Still smiling, he said, “You’re a dangerous guy, Vinnie.”

Vinnie hardened his lips. “Not as dangerous as you,” he replied.

Sonny nodded. “I should go.”

Vinnie didn’t want him to go, but he agreed. Sonny had to go. “Yeah.”

Without another word, he turned and left.

Alone now, Vinnie sat for a long time, head in his hands. Then he kicked the coffee table hard. “Damn! Damn! Damn!”

There were so many reasons why he and Sonny could not take their friendship further. Far too many. The first was one Sonny didn’t know, and could never know. Vinnie was on a job. That was it. He wasn’t supposed to get this personally involved with the mark. Of course he’d already failed at that, which was why this could not be taken one step further. Things were already compromised enough. He didn’t need to make matters worse.

Another reason for avoiding anything more personal with Sonny: By unspoken Mob rules, this behavior was not condoned. Sure guys broke the rules sometimes, but they were circumspect, secretive. Nothing like that was ever spoken of in any serious way. Only homophobic joking was allowed. And if you were ever found out to be fucking around too much with guys, or worse, labeled as a homosexual, God help you. So Sonny had been right, what might happen between them couldn’t. It was far too dangerous to them both.

One more reason to keep their relationship at arm’s distance: Their feelings for each other were not casual. Vinnie was aware that he thought about Sonny far too much, that sometimes he felt queasy, quivery, hollow, wanting. He loved Sonny’s casual touches. He loved everything about the man. So he could recognize the potential for actually falling in love, if indeed he hadn’t already fallen. And the way Sonny behaved? It was requited. And that meant serious events could unfold. He wasn’t sure he was ready for anything that heavy right now, and most especially with one of the biggest mob kingpins on the east coast, for fuck’s sake. It was crazy thinking. Absolute lunacy.

As he turned off the TV and got ready for bed, he kept telling himself over and over again. “This can’t happen. This can’t happen. Not ever. Ever!”

He kept trying to remind himself who Sonny was. He lay down on the fresh sheets of his bed in just his shorts, staring up at the dark ceiling. Sonny, he told himself, was a criminal. The wrong sort of guy. Completely and totally wrong. But still Vinnie saw him in his mind’s eye smiling softly, touching his wrist so lightly, calling him “the greatest.” And he couldn’t see the mobster at all, not at all, no matter how much he tried. All he saw was the friend, the guy who was, in all honesty, his perfect “date.” All he saw was Sonny’s all too affectionate gaze, and a power there that had nothing to do with greed, or deals, or winning. That gaze held a kind of devotion Vinnie craved. It encompassed him, swallowed him, encased him. It was love and he felt it to his core. That in itself was rare for him. He couldn’t fail to notice it. And he very badly wanted to reach out to it.

“Damn!” he said again, fist hitting the sheet. “This can’t happen, this can’t…”

“Vinnie.” A low voice interrupted him. Sitting up quickly on the bed, through the shadows of the darkened room he saw a silhouette in the doorway.

Sonny stood there. It was too dark to see his eyes.

Vinnie started to swing his legs over the side of the bed.

Sonny came forward saying, “Stay.”

“Sonny, what are you doing?”

“I don’t know.” But even as he said that, Sonny boldly sat on the side of the bed, still fully dressed. He didn’t touch Vinnie, he just sat.

After a few painful seconds, Vinnie said, “I…I can’t…”

Sonny interrupted. “I know that!”

Vinnie wanted to explain. He wasn’t rejecting him. It wasn’t because he didn’t want Sonny. He tried, “It’s not that I don’t want…”

“I know,” Sonny repeated softer. “This just can’t happen.”

Vinnie shook his head, agreeing. “It can’t.”

“But…”

“It can’t.” Suddenly his heart started to pound. That one word Sonny had said. “But.” His body felt the hope. Couldn’t be stopped. His mind, however, was still saying ‘no’.

Sonny turned to him abruptly, moving closer. “I know it can’t happen.” His voice was quivering, low and rough the way he got when he was emotional. “But I can’t stop thinking…”

“No,” Vinnie said. He thought he was being firm, but his voice sounded strangely quiet. “Sonny, you have to go.”

“Yeah. This isn’t happening. Nothing’s happening.” Sonny didn’t move.

“No, it isn’t,” Vinnie replied.

It seemed they were in complete agreement. So there should be no problem. But Sonny didn’t move and Vinnie didn’t move and there was the problem.

More silence. Then Vinnie felt a steady hand on his. He wanted to push it away. Instead, his fingers grasped Sonny’s.

Sonny said again, “This isn’t happening.”

“No,” Vinnie said but for some reason their bodies weren’t listening. They moved. Sonny’s heat and sweet scent seemed to sheathe his skin between the inch that still separated them. A trembling started deep inside him. Sonny was not yet touching him, except for the grasp on his hand. Not yet.

“No,” Vinnie said again. But his hips moved forward slightly as Sonny stretched out on the bed beside him.

“It’s not real.” Sonny’s mouth was so close to his face now he could feel his breath. “It’s nothing, nothing…”

Vinnie felt his throat start to close. Don’t, his mind yelled. Don’t! In the back of his throat came a soft noise. He couldn’t breathe. Then his breath came in little gasps. Then he couldn’t breathe again because Sonny’s lips were on his silken, yielding and he felt himself break apart and float away as arms that were no longer compliant with his brain encircled Sonny’s form, pulling him even closer.

It was the sweetest kiss he ever remembered receiving.

He jerked away abruptly, Sonny’s arms barely letting up. “No,” he gasped. “This isn’t…” He gasped again. “It can’t….”

“It’s not,” Sonny replied softly, and kissed him again.

Then Sonny’s hand was on his naked chest, stroking now and the kiss deepened and he had no strength, no ability to protest any further. He wrapped his legs around Sonny, who later let up as Vinnie started pushing at his clothes.

It was all too late now. He wanted him. That was all. He wanted him in every way possible, touching, close, closer. He wanted to stroke, explore, kiss.

Sonny was gasping, murmuring his name. His hands were in Vinnie’s hair, then on his back, then cupping his ass. Sonny had ripped his shorts away awhile back, hands going everywhere. His cock pushed hard against Sonny’s bare hip. Sonny rolled closer and Vinnie embraced him tighter, holding him fast against him, trying to slow down, freeze time, make the moment become an eternity.

There was nothing more he wanted in life right now than this. This man in his arms. This enigma who’d snared his heart. This friend who had become his perfect date.

Sonny…

The way Sonny touched him… It wasn’t exactly rough. It was never awkward. They were both naked, trembling, aroused, so exposed, and yet he never felt any shame. There was no teasing laughter left, not a hint of disrespect. Everything was smooth, reverent. It felt incredible, as if Sonny treasured him, valued him, loved him.

And all that was done to him, he bestowed on Sonny in return. In an intense moment, Sonny said, “I’m not asking much. I only want everything you have to give.”

Vinnie replied, hands on Sonny’s shoulders, then in his hair, “I want to give you everything.”

His cock throbbed as Sonny’s hot mouth slid down it. The ecstasy was so overwhelming, so strong, it was almost painful. He couldn’t breathe. He bucked up and no, that wasn’t pain but only pleasure and pleasure and more pleasure. He nearly choked on his own groans.

Sonny held him tight through the ride, and aftermath.

Vinnie couldn’t stop touching him. And to see Sonny squirm, then tremble as if taken by some internal wind, so out of control, open like that…that was the moment he knew he was forever lost. He wasn’t coming back from this. He’d follow Sonny to Hell if he had to do it to keep him.

Because this was nothing short of transforming.

It wasn’t happening. It couldn’t happen.

But then somewhere along the way it all became real. And Sonny damp and sweet and burning in his arms gasped and called out his name over and over. The tone was anxious, desperate, final. His voice shook.

And there was nothing Vinnie could do about it. Nothing.

So he held him and he kissed him and he held him tighter. The wrong guy. The perfect date. The slippery criminal. His best friend.

As they drifted through the night, Sonny whispered things to him that made his universe brightly spin. Things only for Vinnie’s ears. Things that could not be repeated.

Neither of them could be calmed. The nearness of each other, the touches, kept their bodies raging, hard.

Sonny worshipped Vinnie like no one ever had before. The room was hot, the sheets were damp. They slept bowed together, chest to chest. Woke later. Began their explorations again, kissing like it was brand new again, touching as if they had never touched before.

It couldn’t happen. But it did happen. And now Vinnie could not imagine how he might ever have said ‘no’ in the first place.

“Sonny, you make me feel like I’m dying…”

Sonny chuckled. Took his mouth with his own, hot, affectionate, intimate. When he pulled away, he said, “Impossible. I won’t allow you to die. Ever.”

Sonny crawled over him. Vinnie looked up. Through the dim light of the window Sonny looked golden. “You’re glowing,” Vinnie said.

Sonny kissed his jaw, then his neck, then relaxed hotly against him and fell asleep.

*

 

Sonny traced a path up Vinnie’s thigh, bending to kiss where his fingers strayed.

Vinnie’s body trembled very lightly; for the moment, though, he was almost completely worn out.

Sonny kissed his stomach, then his chest. He moved up and cupped Vinnie’s face in his hands. Vinnie opened his eyes. Sonny was a-shimmer in light. If they got up, got dressed, went out, how would everyone fail to notice? There was no hiding it, this change. It was as if everything had come into focus in full-color when before only shades of gray created the world.

Vinnie wanted to say something but his voice froze in his throat. Sonny kissed his cheek, then lay his head on the pillow beside Vinnie’s. Their legs wrapped around each other.

“Hungry?” Sonny asked.

Vinnie nodded once, staring up at the ceiling as if it contained the most beautiful, euphoric properties. There was a time, maybe even as late as yesterday, when Vinnie knew what he wanted to do with his life. He had a lot of it mapped out, his career involving more undercover assignments, advancement, a probable future of a family, a house in the burbs. Now all of that seemed not only impossible, it wasn’t even remotely what he wanted. What he wanted… How could he keep Sonny in his life now? Like this? Sonny didn’t even know the truth of Vince Terranova. But if he let go he just knew he’d disassemble, disintegrate. There would be no more Vinnie.

Maybe he was being over-dramatic. One night between friends. And neither he nor Sonny had said anything about the reality of this, aside from whispers of affection, sometimes ardent, sometimes desperate. The things people say when passion rules and everything unfolds in a foggy dream.

They’d both said it before that first kiss. Nothing was happening. This wasn’t real.

Vinnie’s breath caught. So close to him, Sonny reacted immediately. “It’s okay. Vinnie, it’s okay.”

Vinnie turned his head slightly, giving him a pained look. Sonny frowned.

Vinnie looked at those dark eyes and tried to catalog all the feelings that were suddenly coming up inside him, hunger, longing, sadness, euphoria. Shame for his secrets. Anger for the impossibility of their situation. An almost violent impulse came over him to tie Sonny up, drag him off to some foreign shore and keep him prisoner forever so he couldn’t live this life anymore, so Vinnie wouldn’t be the cop and Sonny wouldn’t be the mob guy and a culture that considered what they’d just done illicit would never even know.

He felt somewhat like a child. He wanted what he wanted right now, and that was it. Give me the toy and I won’t throw a tantrum.

“How do I keep this?” he whispered to himself.

Sonny leaned his head back and sighed.

Vinnie felt his body start to tremble again. Sonny’s nearness, and his own darker thoughts combined to try to overtake him. Sonny’s warm palm slid along his wrist, grasping. “Vinnie, don’t be stupid. You’re smart. You’re the smart one.”

Sonny’s words made no sense. Unless he was reading his mind. Then he said softly, “We’re always together. You and me. We always will be. Don’t you feel it?”

Vinnie gripped Sonny’s hand tight in answer.

“Don’t look at the downside. Don’t even try.”

Vinnie caught at his lower lip, wincing, closing his eyes.

Sonny’s breath was on his shoulder. Then his lips. He said, “I can see I’m going to have to keep you in check at all times.”

And Vinnie thought: He can never know. About me. About Frank. About the OCB. So how can I swing this?

Vinnie shuddered again. “It’s okay,” Sonny said again. “You’re with me.”

Then Vinnie said, almost choking, “I am with you, Sonny. One hundred percent.”

Sonny moved over him again, and the kiss he gave Vinnie was so light it seemed comprised only of air. He pulled slightly back, saying, “Then why is that beautiful smile I fell in love with gone?”

Why? Because Vinnie was the type who saw endings too clearly. He simply could not help himself. He wrapped his arms around Sonny, kissed his chin, his cheek, the side of his mouth. Sonny let him. Their bodies matched together perfectly, lengthwise, pressing.

Suddenly, Vinnie gasped, “I want to leave this city.”

Sonny touched his forehead to Vinnie’s. “You brood and I love you for it.”

Vinnie’s heart jumped. Sonny bandied “I love yous” like tennis balls. “For good,” Vinnie added. “I mean it. I want to leave for good.”

Sonny sat up, bending his knees, turning for balance. He stared at the wall just over Vinnie’s head. “Can we talk about this?”

“No.”

Without looking down, Sonny traced his hand down the center of Vinnie’s chest, petting, caressing. “Okay then. It’s done.”

Vinnie lifted his head. “Wh…what?”

“Anything you want, Vinnie, I’ll give. That’s the power you have over me.”

Vinnie tried to sit up, a kind of shock shuddering through his system. “You mean you’d give all this up for me?”

Sonny shrugged, but it seemed like it was hard for him. His body stiffened, but he said almost nonchalantly, “I’d give it all to you, if you wanted it.”

Vinnie started blinking. “You can’t mean that.”

“Why not?” Now Sonny looked at him, no smile, no frown, just a still, quiet gaze. He reached out, cupping Vinnie’s cheek. “Why the fuck not?”

“Because I… I…”

“I don’t deserve you,” Sonny interrupted. His words were almost clipped. He stroked Vinnie’s face, then dropped his hand. “I know that. All last night? When do I ever get to live any real life like that? I know you think I’m a fool sometimes. I see your face, the looks you give me. So fuck it. Let’s leave AC. Maybe I don’t know everything you’re thinking, or everything you can’t seem to tell me, but one thing I do know, Vinnie. You always end up being right. So you wanna leave? Well, then, it’s the right decision.”

“But your life here…”

“My life?”

“Yeah, you love it.”

“Maybe.” Sonny sighed. “Maybe I hate it, too. You can have both feelings at the same time, ya know.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“So you wanna make me choose?”

Vinnie felt his eyes grow hot. He looked away. “Yeah. I wanna make you choose.”

“Okay, then. It may take some time to get everything in order, but okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“But I am.”

Sonny ran his hand up Vinnie’s bare arm, fingers skimming the taut bicep. “I’ve never been sorry about you, Vinnie. So do yourself a favor and kill the guilt trip. Guys in my position are idiots if they don’t retire early anyway.”

“What if you get tired of me?”

“Never happen.”

“How do you know?”

Now Sonny’s eyes sparkled. The glow about him was almost palpable. “I know. I just know.”

Vinnie smiled.

“There’s that smile I thought wandered off.” Sonny grinned. “My god, you’re a fiend. What you do to me! Destroy my life. Take me over. It’s insidious.” And he pushed Vinnie back down into the pillow, chuckling.

He seemed to be taking it all too easily, too lightly. On the surface, that’s how it looked. But in reality, Sonny was giving up everything. Including his heart. Vinnie could feel it, almost touch it. Sonny wanted to keep him as much as Vinnie wanted it. Sonny had just given him the deed to his soul.

Sonny had said this might take time, though. How much time? He didn’t know. Maybe it wouldn’t even happen…in the end. But right now it seemed like he had everything. He’d won.

Vinnie wrapped one hand behind his neck and forced him forward, mouth on mouth. Sonny’s kiss laughed into him, filling him, lifting him to a wonder he’d never known.

*

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this work by Natasha Solten, you may also enjoy her m/m romances on Kindle under her non-fanfic name: Wendy Rathbone. Look for "The Foundling," "The Secret Sharer" and the soon to be released "None Can Hold the Dark" (due in fall 2013.) She also has an sf novel out, and a collection of poetry.


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